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Locally based teen helpline seeks new generation
of high-school age volunteers
Peter Kovalesky will never forget the phone call he got from a
14-year-old Madison girl at 2 a.m.
Kovalesky, a CONTACT volunteer at the time, got the call because
an operator, not knowing what else to do, had forwarded the
distraught teen’s call to the Ashtabula County helpline. “All
(the girl) could do is dial ‘O’ for the operator. That kind of
weighed on my heart,” says Kovalesky, executive director of the
NEO TEEN Helpline.
Years later Kovalesky still wonders about the girl, who was
contemplating suicide in those early morning hours of an
otherwise forgettable day in 1985. Her case touched Kovalesky in
a very personal manner – his father committed suicide. Further,
there were five suicides at Madison High that year.
Kovalesky, who usually filled the Friday night/Saturday morning
shift at CONTACT, wished the community help line could have
intervened. But less than 1 percent of the calls handled by
Contact came from teens.
He decided to do a survey of high schools in Ashtabula County to
gauge interest in a teen-specific helpline. Nearly 50 percent of
those surveyed thought a peer-to-peer helpline was needed.
Kovalesky and his wife, Sharyn, a special education teacher in
the Ashtabula Area City Schools District, moved ahead with this
vision and started the NEO Teen Helpline in 1990 as a CONTACT
program. Five years later, the helpline broke away from CONTACT
as an independent, not-for-profit corporation.
Nearly 18 years after the helpline received its first call, the
old beige telephone, donated by Alltel years ago, still rings in
the tiny NEO TEEN Helpline office. Last year the helpline
received more than 500 calls, 218 of which were legitimate.
Pranksters and hang-ups accounted for the balance.
Kovalesky, 65, and his wife handled virtually of those calls.
The program, which depends upon teen volunteers, has been in a
severe drought for several years.
“We’ve gotten only one real volunteer out of the last four
trainings and we had to cancel two of them – only one kid showed
up,” he says. “We’ve run out of volunteers.
But not dedication.
“This is important to me,” says Kovalesky, who wants to run the
program for at least five more years. “You got to have in your
life something you enjoy doing and that means something. And to
me, this means something and it means a lot.”
Kovalesky gets great satisfaction helping others get through the
rough spots in their lives. Likewise, he and Sharyn have a
passion for training other volunteers to do the same. To that
end, they will offer this Saturday the first session in their
winter training for new volunteers.
The 42-hours of training is held on Saturdays in January and
February and covers communication skills, values and
self-esteem, family life, human sexuality, dating pressures and
substance abuse. The classes are held from 8 a.m. to 2:15 p.m.
at Bethany Lutheran Church, Ashtabula Harbor.
Once a volunteer completes the training, he or she must complete
two shifts of listening in on actual calls, followed by a number
of shifts under close supervision. “It’s a long training and it
is very intense,” Kovalesky says.
It’s also valuable. Kovalesky says the training and practical
experience is an excellent background for many career fields,
including social work, medicine, education and law enforcement.
Even business and manufacturing supervision careers will
benefit.
Locally based teen helpline seeks new generation
of high-school age volunteers
“Learning how to listen can really be a big boost in how you
manage people,” says Kovalesky, who worked in industry before
dedicating his life to the helpline and substitute teaching.
The experience also equips college-bound youth with the skills
to serve as resident advisers, which can help reduce their
college dorm expenses.
Kovalesky estimates that the program has trained about 500
volunteers in the past 18 years; about 50 of those stuck with
the work for more than a year. Many of them have gone on to earn
advanced college degrees and work in medicine, social services
and law. He says if there is one common thread among those who
have persevered in the program, it was being goal-oriented.
For Kovalesky, knowing these students and staying in touch with
them has one of the program’s greatest rewards.
“We have had some wonderful kids, it’s just amazing,” he says.
“It’s so great to see kids who are goal-oriented, knowing what
they want to do, then going out and doing it and being
successful.”
Trained to listen
Helpline training is open to eighth-grade girls, high-school
girls and boys. There is no cost, but donations are accepted to
offset the large cost of providing training materials.
Once the training is complete, Kovalesky asks for a minimum
commitment of one four-hour shift per month. Ideally, he needs
at least 20 volunteers to make the program work smoothly.
Volunteers always work under adult supervision. The helpline is
open from 2 to 9 p.m. Monday through Friday. When there is no
teen volunteer to answer the phone, the Kovaleskys pick up the
slack. But he says the program is much more successful when the
caller hears the voice of another teen.
“I really want to have the teenagers,” he says, explaining why
the program has not been opened to adult volunteers. “It works
better, it really does. Adults tend to be adults. They want to
tell you what to do.”
The helpline is all about listening, not preaching. Volunteers
are taught how to build the caller’s self-esteem, seize the
positive and suggest an adult resource – family member, teacher
or minister – who can help.
“Most of the time we try to build up the caller by helping them
find their own solutions and giving them someone to talk to who
understands them,” he says.
The top issue varies from year to year, but Kovalesky says
interaction between friends, pregnancy and self-abuse are always
the main ones.
“Pregnancy is tops right now,” he says.
________________________________________
You can
call and talk about anything, including: drugs, STD's,
relationships, friends, school, pregnancy, divorce, grief,
depression, parents, abuse, incest, dating, runaway and peer
pressure.
Normal
hours of operation (Eastern Time Zone) -- Monday, through
Friday from 2 to 9 PM. We will open at other times, especially
Saturdays, when volunteers or staff are available. Teen and
adult volunteers and staff man our telephone line.
DISCLAIMER -- We are a listening
service. We do not tell callers what to do, but help callers
identify their own solution(s) to their problems. We believe
that each person has the resources to solve their own problems
and just need some help in finding or identifying those
resources.
